


caught in your orbit (and i'm burning up)

by mayathewriter



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, TDP Week Day 3 - Arguments, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, i warned you about the whiplash didn't i?, i'm crying so much this made me so sad im sorry why do i do this, in which maya uses too many space analogies in place of doing her astronomy homework, there's no bright side to this im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 13:31:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayathewriter/pseuds/mayathewriter
Summary: To Claudia, Rayla was the sun.





	caught in your orbit (and i'm burning up)

With silvery hair and pale skin hiding shadowy edges, it was never hard for Claudia to see why people would describe Rayla as the moon, although after years of chasing her, growing with her, really, truly _knowing_ her, it never seemed to be a description that quite fit.

_“How long?”_

Because the moon- the moon was beautiful, there was no doubt, but beyond that, it wasn’t much more than a rock that hung in our night sky. To Claudia, Rayla was the sun.

_“Since high school. Probably before, but that’s- that’s when I realized.”_

She was bright and big and _everything_. Everything swirled around her, everything followed her, seeking her light, the warmth she carried with her everywhere she went. Early on, when she first met Rayla, Claudia went and explored the surface of the moon in order to get closer to the light that seemed to emit from her, learned it like the back of her hand, only to find what she was looking for sitting in the star so far away. So she followed the light and the warmth, and began exploring the sun as she did. And it was huge and overwhelming and the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

_“Claudia, I’m-”_

But here’s the thing. If you get too close to the sun-

_“I’m so sorry.”_

-you burn.

* * *

“Chinese or pizza?”

“Pizza,” Rayla answered immediately, voice muffled by the hair tie she kept in her mouth, hands occupied in an attempt to pull her hair into a small half-bun, the sliver of skin above the waistband of her pajama pants sending her heart into overdrive, even after this many years. “Jasmine’s taking me to a fancy Chinese place tomorrow.”

“Right,” Claudia said tightly, setting the take-out menus on the counter to help Rayla with her hair, plucking the hair tie from between her teeth like it was second nature and ignoring the way her fingers brushed Rayla’s lips for a split second. “I forgot you have another date tomorrow.”

Rayla scoffed, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes. “What do you mean, _another_?” she asked, her words holding a teasing lilt as she smiled thankfully, reaching for the pizza menu. “It’s been at least a month since I’ve been on an actual date. Coffee dates before work don’t count!”

Claudia wondered if there’s anyone else in the world that’s seen her like this- loose, comfortable, with no filters. Entirely and unapologetically herself. She wondered if Rayla ever looks this free with anyone else. Or if she ever smiles as bright anywhere else.

“You went out with Marcos last week, Ray.”

“Bearding doesn’t count either!” she pouted, flopping over their small couch and landing spread-eagle on her back. “Marcos is gay as hell and you know it, he just didn’t see the point in telling his hundred-and-three year old, homophobic great aunt that he has a boyfriend.”

“Fiancé, soon,” Claudia corrected idly, typing their usual pizza order into her phone as she made her way over to the couch. “Soren’s planning on asking soon, I think. He’s been sending me ring pictures for the last week and a half.”

“About time,” Rayla muttered, shifting so her head landed in Claudia’s lap when she sat down, loose hair spilling over her thighs like silk. Claudia’s heart skipped a beat as the back of her throat soured. Did she not see the irony? How long, really, has Claudia been looking at her like she blotted the other stars out in the sheer magnitude of her brightness?

“I know,” she said, laughing only with the force of sheer will. “They’ve both been dancing around this for too long.”

_Twenty years too long,_ Claudia thought miserably, combing through the tangles in Rayla’s loose hair with her fingers. _How many of them have I pined for you? How many have I pined without knowing?_

“Tell me about it,” Rayla laughed, a too-loud, snorty type of laughter. It was Claudia’s favorite of hers, mostly since it was the most real. “They’re gonna be insufferable once they’re married. But yeah, my point still stands. I haven’t been on a date in over a month.”

“I suppose. Haven’t you been seeing Jasmine this whole time, though?” Claudia wondered aloud, intentionally brushing her fingers over Rayla’s forehead. Why was she like this? Both of them knew what she was doing, and yet… “Are you sure you’re okay for going tomorrow? You feel kind of warm.”

Rayla sighed, pushing herself into a sitting position. “Don’t do this, Clauds. I thought you were past this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” God, it _hurt_ , so much, why did she always do this? Why was she so intent on never settling, never letting herself get comfortable but never pushing all the way out of her comfort zone. Why were words, usually her forte, so _hard_ when it came to Rayla?

“Don’t fuck with me, Claudia.” Rayla sounded so tired. That was _her_ fault, Claudia knew that, but she couldn’t stop, couldn’t let herself stop prodding for some shred of hope. She’s been trying for twelve years, and the search has been futile so far. “You do this _every_ time I start getting close to someone, and I’m sick of it!”

Claudia wilted, shoulders slumping as she fell back against the couch cushions. “It’s just… a feeling, that’s all.”

“Bullshit.”

Her eyes jumped up, meeting Rayla’s with thinly veiled surprise. Usually she was able to get by with that excuse, would let it smooth over before bringing up anything about it again.

“What?”

“I said _bullshit_ ,” Rayla snapped, standing up. Claudia found herself following, because she was always following, always caught up in her orbit, but there was something off, something on the brink of changing their pull forever. “You always use that excuse and I’ve always let it slide. Why can’t you tell me this?”

“Why do you _care_?” Claudia knew why, but she was afraid, so afraid of the precipice she was balanced on, too afraid to keep the nastiness out of her voice when she spoke.

“Why do I- Claudia, you’re my best friend.” Rayla was _pleaing_ and Claudia has never been able to say no to her. Never been strong enough to hold up against her anyways. “Of _course_ I care about what you think! We _live_ together, you think I’m just going to brush by issues you have with the people I date?”

Any resolve Claudia still had was breaking, shattering under the weight of a secret kept for far too long. “It’s not- it’s not a problem with them. It’s my fault, it’s my problem, it’s not- it’s never been theirs.”

“Clauds, you’re not making any sense, what do you _mean_ it’s your problem?”

Claudia, with tears in her eyes, uttered the words she’d kept under lock and key, buried so far down that she never even hoped that they would see the light of day. There were parts of her that tried to get her to keep them in, keep them in orbit, but something critical was already knocked out of alignment and she was falling towards her, towards the sun, too fast to do anything but accept the aftermath.

“I’m in love with you.”

* * *

Sometimes, objects that fall towards the sun get caught in orbit again before they get the chance to burn at the surface.

Claudia was not one of those objects.

**Author's Note:**

> somewhere there's someone with receipts of me saying my raydia tdp week works weren't going to be angsty. oops.
> 
> i would say it gets better but. well.


End file.
